Somewhere along the way, we got lost. We started believing myths, like that all people with vulvas orgasm from penetration, or that you can’t get pregnant if you have sex standing up, or of course, that the vibrator you’ve come to love and cherish is destroying the nerve endings in your clitoris. The internet even came up with a term for it: “dead vagina syndrome.” How morbid. As much as your favorite sex educators scream at the top of their lungs, “YOUR CLITORIS WILL BE FINE! BUY ALL THOSE VIBRATORS IN YOUR CART”, concern persists. Here’s to hoping that I can finally clear all of this up. Then I invite you to continue (without caution) to gravitate towards as intense, as rumbly, and as enormous a toy as often as you, please.
Stretching your body is a more important step in preserving clitoral health than worrying about your sex toy.
Let’s Talk Science
Clitoral pain and discomfort are called Clitorodynia and are, in fact, often the result of restricted movement or blood flow to the internal bits of the clitoral network, the dorsal and pudendal nerves. So yes, stretching your body is a more important step in preserving clitoral health than worrying about your sex toy.
The part of the clitoral network commonly called the clitoris is the glans. And in regards to the glans, most participants in a study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine reported no negative effects on their clitoris immediately after the use of vibrators. Of the 16% of folks who did report any sort of numbness, 95.5% also reported that this feeling went away within a day. This is kind of like how your foot may fall asleep from time to time; the body may need some time to recover. Of course, exceptions to these statements can be made for any who may use toys to beat, bruise, or severely wound the region, which could actually cause long-term damage.
Temporary irritation, though, was far more commonly reported than numbness by participants, and this makes sense. Repetitive motion along the clitoris can be briefly irritating, as can using a more powerful toy on a more sensitive clit. Imagine you held that same vibrator you’re worried about up to your shoulder for an hour or two. Your skin would probably become irritated, but you probably wouldn’t worry about permanently losing feeling in your shoulder, would you?
And no, there is no proof you can become chemically addicted to your vibrator, either. Various high-frequency sexual behaviors that have caught the attention of the public eye, such as sex addiction and porn addiction, are actually intentionally excluded from the DSM 5. There are a number of different ways addiction can be defined, by cravings, by compulsivity, by relapse, the list goes on. Though, scientists tend to lean on evidence about the brain that proves behavioral addictions similar to drug addictions in categorizing addiction. For vibrators, this evidence is so far nonexistent.
Vibrator use during partnered sex makes it scientifically more likely that everyone cums!
In fact, the very same Journal of Sexual Medicine study mentioned above even determined the positive outcomes of vibrator use on sexual functioning. They found that people with vulvas who used vibrators were drastically more likely to have seen a gynecologist in the last year. Odds are, if you’re reading this, that’s you, and we’re proud! Vibrator users also report higher levels of arousal, lubrication, desire and orgasm. Plus, vibrator use during partnered sex makes it scientifically more likely that everyone cums!
Why Are We Meant to Believe This?
Sex myths like this one have been around as long as time, maybe because of generations long, inadequate sex education, or maybe, there’s something deeper happening. May I introduce, the orgasm hierarchy, the societally perpetuated belief that some orgasms are more valuable than others. We can see the existence of this hierarchy in the fact that masturbation is often made into the butt of the joke; seen as something for lonely people as opposed to those who want to connect with their own bodies.
Masturbation is self care, masturbation is a direct means to accessing pleasure, masturbation allows you to deepen your relationship with yourself.
Orgasming from partnered sex is seen as the desirable norm, while orgasming from anal sex is adventurous or intimidating, and orgasming alone, with a hand or a toy, well that’s run-of-the-mill. This thought process completely ignores the fact that most people with vulvas claim to have had their best orgasms through masturbation. Masturbation is self care, masturbation is a direct means to accessing pleasure, masturbation allows you to deepen your relationship with yourself.
